Escape

I woke up with a headache. No, scratch that! I have a headache! Even my headache has a headache! That's how I describe the throbbing pain in my head. I didn't get to sleep at all. I wanted to, of course. I do. Who doesn't want a few hours of peace and quiet and tranquility and escape?

Yes. Escape. I want that. God I need that! I have been visited by my demon. I call it anxiety. I've had this before, or so I thought. I was wrong. Because it wasn't in the past. I still have it. It is slowly killing me. I know it doesn't show. I work my butt off to make sure no one notice. I don't want to look weak and whiny. But it is killing me slowly.

Work is just 9 hours of escape. Not even 9! Sometimes anxiety kicks in and paralyzes me in the middle of my deadline. My ideas, they disappear. Pooof!!! All that's left is blank. And it's hard to get back on track. But I have to. I need to.

I am looking for an escape. One that is longer than my work schedule. One where I won't have to deal with my demon anymore. I hope I find it.

originally posted: 08/19/2019